..A Lot to Take In..

He is growing so fast. I wish time would stop for a moment. Stop, so that I can take it all in. 

I realize the life before me...how precious it really is. My responsibility- never ending. 

It's a full time job. You can't take breaks- you can't expect to. 

He looks at me and stares- focusing on my facial structure...recognizing me. He stores it in his memory.

Tomorrow he will look at me again- only a little brighter. He learns new things everyday.

It's crazy to think that I have grown up so fast- that he is growing so fast.

I wonder how my mother and father feel- about me growing up so fast? It seems like just yesterday I was on the playground enjoying the merry-go-round. 

He holds my finger with the tightest grip- studying every inch of it.

If he could talk what would he say?

Time will pass, however, soon enough. He will be saying 'Mama and Dada' in a matter of months. 

If time could stop for a little while, when would I want it to pause? When he is crawling, walking, talking, running? When he is graduating? 

Graduation- wow that's a lot to take in.

Not only am I overwhelmed about my own graduation, now I think of the day my son will graduate.

What will he be? A doctor, a vet, a musician? What will his interests be? Who will be his role model?

A lot to take in- that's part of being a mother.

How Many Times?

How many times will you let them decide your future, your life, your goals?

How many times will you let them tell you who you are, what you want, who you love?

How many times will you let them determine where you are going, where you want to be, where you will end up?

How many times will you let them control your every move, your opinions, your decisions?

How many times will it take until you realize that you are the one who will decide your future, your life, your goals?

Until you tell yourself who you are, what you want, or who you love?

Until you determine where you are going, where you want to be, where you will end up?

Until you control your every move, your opinions, your decisions?

This is your life, this is your choice- your decision. Try to make the right ones and don't regret your mistakes. You learn from them. Show the world your potential, your courage, your independence. Show them your control, your confidence, and your ability to make your own life the way that you want it.

--Tell Me a Secret--

Tell me a secret, any secret.

I won’t tell, my lips are forever sealed.

I will put your secret in my lock box.

There I will keep it- keep it until it’s ready to come out.

It will all come out.

Your secret will be exposed.

Tell me your feelings, any feelings.

Tell me about your life, your problems.

I promise no one will know, until it is all ready to come out.

Tell me an embarrassing story.

I won’t ever tell.

Until it’s ready- until it's ready to come out.

I will put it in my lock box and there it will stay.

Until the day I unlock your secrets, your feelings, your problems.

Then, everyone will know.

Everyone will know everything about you.

.^.Disasterpiece.^.

The Blind Child...saw the Flames...

The Dream...destroyed by Nightmares... 

The Preacher...punished by God...

The Mother...threw away her Child...

The Sun...darkened by Night...

The Prisoner...dreamed Free...

The Window...shattered by Bullets...

Life...overwhelmed by Death...

Love...murdered by Hate...

The Roses...burnt to Ashes...

Smiles...overcome by Sadness...

The Candle...blown out by Darkness...

I Found You...

I found you.

Wandering alone on a cold winter night, I found you.

I found you at the Nottingham’s bus station.

You looked so cold and frail.

Your smile was broken.

Gaining your confidence, you told the story.

The story of troublesome obstacles experienced.

Kidnapped by criminals.

Terrible stories followed.

Stories that made my heart cry for you.

Surreal, it all was.

Exposed to terrible, frightening things.

You regained your confidence.

You stood, you walked, you ran.

Moving from one place to another.

It all happened so fast.

Nowhere to go.

Nowhere to run.

No one to turn to.

I found you.

*Time After Time*

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, and I think of him. Reminiscing about all the times that we have shared- the good and the bad. The good will always overcome. 

 Sometimes he pictures me, I'm walking too far ahead. I have always and will always be there for him. He understands me, as I do him. There will never be anything that stands between us. If I'm lost he will look, and he will find me time after time. Neither of us are the same without each other. Even if I am two minutes away, he will still miss me. I am no one without him, and he is no one without me. I will never love another. If I fall he will catch me, and I will be waiting time after time. No matter where this life takes us, nothing will bring either of us down. Some things may knock me over, but he will never let me fall apart. Watching through windows, he's wondering if I'm okay. Always caring about how I feel, he comforts me on the worst of days. What would I do without him, and would he survive without me? He gives me reason to live, and I can't wait to build a future with him and our son.

_Let Go_

Respect her,

Treat her as your prize,

Never say no,

Never ask why,

Turn away before it’s too late,

She will never know,

They will never tell,

When? With who? How? WHY?

Forget what was done,

Moving forward at last,

Time to let go.

Time to let go: when there is no hope, the wrong is unforgettable, they aren't sorry, you won't forgive, the anger begins, the love fades.

Moving forward: starts today, starts now! There is hope, you have forgotten the wrong, you have forgiven, the anger is gone, and the love begins.